I have an old joke that I wrote a few years ago about my attention span. Ready? Here it is: Me: You know, I have the attention span of a goldfish She: What? Me: What?
So, I am reading that novel, alright. I am paying attention for say, some good thirty-seven seconds. During this time, the whole world around me has ceased to exist. It’s just me and my breath, and of course the cologne of these words sprinkled over these pages. I don’t feel any eyes on me and nothing distracts me at all. You could strip me down, doodle a penis on my face, and stuff my pet in an oven and turn it on and I wouldn’t pay attention. However, on the thirty-eighth second, something happens. Maybe the author uses the word, “suddenly”, to describe an expected set of mundane events. It throws me off. I suddenly stop reading it.
Anything that can’t grab my attention is the job of worst kind for me. Even if it is something fun; say playing a video game with tricks and codes that can make a particular level easier – or boost my avatar’s powers – is automatically a task for me. And tasks shouldn’t be a part … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #3
Being superficial by nature is not a badge I want pinned on my shoulders. It’s not something I am proud of but I know the pendulum of attention has an anomaly and it often strikes boredom more than it strikes engagement. And boredom is the mother of divided attention (and grandmother of superficiality). It’s the … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #2
My attention span is abnormally minimal. In fact, let’s just say, if it was my wage I would be perpetually broke. If it was my dress, there would be plenty of naked hairy legs. If it was a response, it would be a: “?” or, “fuck, what?”. If it was a text, it would be … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (Attention Deficiency) #1