31 Books I Read This Year

Now, to be clear, I don't want to say I "read" all of these 31 books, because I listened to some of them. Contrary to the popular belief, listening isn't quite like reading. It's not! But that's not to say that listening isn't enjoyable or efficient. It's just a different skill often yielding different outcomes. …

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Reading 30 books a year, is that too much?

I mean if podcasts and books were siblings and I parented both of them, podcasts could beat the shit out of books, and I would still side with him (or her). Even though I'd know very well that the latter is making a structured argument, but the former is just more fun. It has a sense of humour, a personality, but also occasionally lies and makes absurd arguments for attention. But hey! At least it keeps it entertaining and fun in the house. Books can be entertaining too, but often have that snobbish "I am always right" side to them. And most of the times they are right! Until you read one of those self-proclaimed guru's book that is basically just his or her opinions. No actual research behind it, nothing to prove that the methods prescribed actually work. Just a bunch of opinions. Some really controversial ones at that.

Reliving Summer

There's something about the winters that makes me procrastinate work without guilt, and it gets progressively worse when the day light savings end. The sun sets at five and by seven I am tucked inside a quilt watching my favourite mind-numbing shows and podcasts that bring less joy than they used to. Occasionally, I step out of the house, stroll around the neighbourhood, get coffee or tea and stare at skinny pets dressed in furry clothes.

The best thing to do then is to find a cozy cafe, where the espresso machine isn't louder than the white-noise in my ears and where the baristas are friendly. The ones that don't ask, "Can I get you something else?" every fifteen minutes. No miss, there are only so many bagels I can eat at once!

Should have seen it coming!

There is a lady walking her dogs, one is a poodle the other's a pitbull. Weird, isn't it? I am no dog expert, but I have a feeling the pitbull is gonna maul the poodle one day. But of course, it's the poodle that's more aggressive and the pitbull that's all smiley. She looks at me, while the dogs take a leak under the tree. We are the only living beings in about twenty meter radius. The wind is chilly and I can feel an itch on the back of my head, which is under the snapback, which is under the hoodie. Hence I am lazy and I hope it goes away on its own.

You see a trailer, before the action happens. Sometimes a day before, sometimes the moments before it happens, you just need to be aware that you are watching it when you're watching it, the narrator says.

As I walk around …

On the shore, right where the sand trail ends and the parks begin, there is a grocery store. Next to the store, an old man sings songs in a language I don't understand. He has a bowl full of coins. Whenever I come across him, I toss quarters in that bowl. He says thank you …

Literary Wordplay Theme Park

Welcome to the strange play on words,

 just acrobats of quips about two thirds,

A circus of literally just puns.

Wait … I meant, a showcase of literary puns

Every element is relevant in this plot,

except, we’ll be shooting stones with birds

FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #5

I have an old joke that I wrote a few years ago about my attention span. Ready? Here it is: Me: You know, I have the attention span of a goldfish She: What? Me: What?

Not Really a Review: Born A Crime: Childhood from a South African Childhood

But in all seriousness, this book is entertaining, funny and educational. It makes its point, tickles you and then leaves you with an imagery or a thought so disturbing you feel bad for laughing at the previous line. These are all the ingredients you want in a book written by a comedian, or in a great comedy piece; push the boundaries, punch as far up as possible, make a great (preferably an unpopular) argument, but most importantly make the audience uncomfortable.

FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #4

So, I am reading that novel, alright. I am paying attention for say, some good thirty-seven seconds. During this time, the whole world around me has ceased to exist. It’s just me and my breath, and of course the cologne of these words sprinkled over these pages. I don’t feel any eyes on me and nothing distracts me at all. You could strip me down, doodle a penis on my face, and stuff my pet in an oven and turn it on and I wouldn’t pay attention. However, on the thirty-eighth second, something happens. Maybe the author uses the word, “suddenly”, to describe an expected set of mundane events. It throws me off. I suddenly stop reading it.

Review: Then She was Gone

**This review has spoilers** Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell is a thriller about a fifteen-year-old girl Ellie Mack, who one fine day disappears without a trace, scarring and disorienting a family that never recovers from it. The story (for the most part) is told from the perspective of Ellie’s mother Laurel and her …